They always say school & college are the best years of your life. Those years played a major role in defining you as a person later in life – So lets find out what kind of student you were/are?
We took an example of a single mom working a full-time job and raising a kid, just to emphasize the win factor here
I’m a single mom, but you know what? I finished my master’s degree
What was my GPA you ask? THREE POINT EIGHT – Do you know what that means?
Every night after my daughter went to bed, I wrote papers on her computer
But it’s all over now! cause I finished my MASTER’s Degree
Think about it. every night doing papers. getting sick? taking care of a young daughter? writing papers!
Now it’s over and I never have to see my stupid thesis again!
No more tests
No more writing long papers every damn night
Throw my computer in the trash!
The smell of freedom
1. Cook your food without taking up a lot of space.
2. Put off washing your spoons another day and just use a fork.
3. Show everyone your priorities by using the washing machine to chill your beer.
4. Note: do not try this with rice.
5. Let the professor think you’re being flirty when you’re actually cheating.
6. Get fancy on a budget.
7. Remember that anything can be a hot tub if you believe in yourself.
8. Find a sweet way to heal that sports injury.
9. Never sleep through your 8 a.m. class again.
10. Leave lots of room for activities during sleepovers.
11. Fill up a water jug while your professor scolds you for your poor attendance.
12. Say “no” to ridiculously small desks and “yes” to doubling up on chairs
13. Create the legendary Fountain of Booze.
14. Give all your takeout sauce containers new life as jello shot holders.
15. Ensure that even your worst injuries won’t prevent drunken nights.
16. Use an iron to cook noodles…
17. …computer devices to heat up breakfast…
18. … or go heavy duty if the situation is dire enough.
19. Parents coming to visit? Up the fancy by serving salad with tongs
20. Convince the professor that you really ARE just admiring your own crotch.
21. Never deal with those flimsy shower hooks again.
22. Get some added water pressure while proudly displaying your lousy beer preferences.
23. Never spend a fortune just to keep your teeth clean again.
24. Be festive without dragging a tree up three flights of dorm stairs
25. A rainy walk across campus with your friends is nothing a box can’t handle*
26. Stick it to the man by building your own phone dock… with speakers!
27. Use a stove-heated pot to show the world that you’re a strong, independent student who don’t need no iron
28. Fashion yourself the most unique pair of headphones around
29. Put your party habit to good use by installing a cool lighting system
30. When a hole punch can’t defeat the massive stack of papers you have, hit up the hardware store
31. Waterproof your phone with something you probably (hopefully) already have lying around
32. Save time on cutting vegetables by attaching a knife to a fan
1) Your degree? No one cares.
This is point 1. Point A. Fucking listen to this point and listen good. No one in the professional world gives a shit what degree you did. Your success at university is measured by everything else you do. In many ways your degree is the least important part of university. Unless you get a 2.2. Don’t get a 2.2.
2) After Uni, you have to start giving a shit. You have problems. Deal with them.
Massive night out? Looking forward to the after party? How can you be so irresponsible?! You have shit to do on Saturday. Saturday is life admin day. You can’t write it off.
Bank holiday weekends are the exception to the rule. 3 days with sweet F.A to do…What does that remind you of? Uni. It reminds you of Uni. The best time you ever fucking had. Embrace it.
3) Summer. It’s not a thing anymore.
OMG this Summer is gonna be the best Summer ever right? Wrong. Summer as you know it is dead. 35C in mid-August? Get to work. But it’s such a nice day! Yep. Enjoy it through the window. You get 25 days a year off if you’re lucky. Use them wisely, my child.
And maybe fake an illness once or twice. Maybe.
4) Your parents will want you out.
Milk every second of parental love you possibly can. The moment you step back into your house as a graduate is the moment it all changes. You’re a Silverback Gorilla. So is your dad. Ever heard of two Silverback Gorillas in the same troop? Me neither.
You’ve tasted independent life. You’ll want it again. Except now you’ll need a job. Jobs suck.
5) Jobs suck
Going into something high powered? Kiss your life goodbye as you work 7am-8pm and never see anyone again.
Going into anything else? Chances are you’ll end up doing something you sort of like but actually hate. You’ll do anything for money. A-ny-thing.
6) You won’t be rich for a while, if at all
Ok, so this one isn’t 100% certain. Let’s call it 99%. You thought you were going to leave Uni and just rake in the G’s didn’t you. Well it’s hard. A lot harder than you thought. Unless you get a high powered shitty job. But you don’t want one of those… do you?
Keep entering the lottery. You’re Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption and a lottery ticket is your rock hammer. You will get out. One day.
7) Movie friendships circles are just like real life
Ever watch movies where the main character has like 5 or 6 close friends and you’re sitting there at Uni thinking you’ve got, like, at least 15? Why have these guys got so few mates, you ask. Think about it. You’ve been at school and university your whole life. Surrounded by your friends. That’s over now. You don’t just bump into everyone all the time. You make time for the people you want to see and it’s a shockingly small group.
8) Bumping into people you know but don’t speak to is awkward. Fucking awkward
You’re gonna see some of those people you don’t speak to anymore. If you live in London, you’re gonna see them all the time.
DON’T STOP WALKING.
DO. NOT. STOP. WALKING.
They don’t want to talk to you any more than you want to talk to them. At least when you walk past them in the Uni library you’re still vaguely doing the same thing in life. You have like 10% interesting conversation. Not anymore. Just smile and nod. Only the weak slow down.
9) You talk about jobs. All the time. Jobs.
Remember how when you get to Uni everyone was like, “Full Moon was fucking sick! I wore a pink vest and drank out of a bucket!” Then remember how every exam period you just chat about exams and summer plans? You thought you were free from this hellish cycle. HA. Never.
“How’s the job going?”
“Is it a career?”
“I just live for the weekend nowadays”
“Do you mind if I cut off my ears with an office pen?”
You get the idea.
10) One night stands. See ya!
Want to go back to mine?
Yeah. Where do you live?
You all live in the same place at Uni. It’s so easy.
Now you don’t. Now you live anywhere and everywhere and you probably live with your parents. That’s going to impress them.
Come back to my house. It’s the wrong direction for you and my parents will be there in the morning.
How about no…
Enjoy it while you can.
11) Enjoy University life. Spend every waking second appreciating how good you have it.
You have a free loan funding the most fucking hilarious lifestyle you will ever have. Did you ever look back at your GCSEs and think “fuck, I wish I could tell my little 16 year old self that these mean jack shit.” Well I’m telling you.
I’m you in a year’s time and I’m telling you how it is. You will never have it this good again. Enjoy every second lying on that sofa. Enjoy every second playing Fifa. Enjoy every second reading meaningless articles online. Because it doesn’t happen again. Unless you win the lottery. I’m still trying.
By Oscar Trondheim
Every student need this enlightenment before the end of University so SHARE this with your friends!
You won’t believe it, but these photos were taken in a student housing complex where 1200 students currently live as we speak. Before you complain about your own dorm, consider how bad things could be…
This is the “Goce Delcev” student dormitory in Skopje, Macedonia. It houses 1200+ students every year.
These notes in the reception area translate to read, ”There is no warm water. The problem is being fixed,” and “Go take a shower at your boyfriends’ places!”
Water flows down the elevator shaft. One elevator detached with a student inside. He sustained minor injuries and trauma.
And here’s one last bonus photo, created by students who want to draw attention to their living conditions.
Next time someone complains about their dorm, just show them this.