If you absolutely abhor going out on the town on a Friday or Saturday night in your hometown because you feel like all the locals look like some of the inbred characters from The Hills Have Eyes, you’re not alone. That’s how I feel every time I step foot in a nightclub where I live and immediately feel this surge of regret rushing through my entire body. However bad you think the people frequenting the nightclubs in YOUR area might be to you, they probably aren’t as bad as the people frequenting the clubs in the UK. Take a look at the hilariously shocking and incredibly obvious differences between British nightclubs and Swedish nightclubs. You’ll never want to go out in Britain ever and you’ll only ever want to go out in Sweden.
Warning: people will get offended by this, especially British people considering I’m unabashedly making fun of them, but try to find it in your heart to take everything I say like the joke it’s intended to be.
1. Double trouble is welcomed in Sweden but feared in Britain.
2. There’s a whole lot of yes in Sweden and a little bit too much nope in England.
3. Sweden’s got sideboob AND cleavage on point and so does the UK…but definitely not the kind that anyone wants to see.
4. Even the girls love the girls in Sweden while in England…the only person loving those girls are their mothers.
5. Swedish girls are always down to play while British girls are always down to eat.
6. In Sweden the girls are tanned, mostly blonde bombshells while it’s obviously the opposite in England.
7. In Sweden, after a sweaty night, the girls are still hot messes; emphasis on the hot. The girls in England however, are hot messes, emphasis on the mess.
8. The Swedes look photoshopped to perfection while the Brits look like they’ve been purposely altered to look so bad.
9. Although this Swedish girl looks like she rolled in Cheeto dust, at least she doesn’t look like she ate it all.
10. Girls always travel in packs, some packs just happen to be better deals than others.