Awkward Disturbing (or Hilarious) Children’s Book Moments.

Remember those charming books you read as a kid? Maybe you’re sharing them with your children now. And maybe you’re finding it hard not to snicker like an 8-year-old at things that you didn’t notice as a kid, but seem too obvious now. Like what? Oh, like these:

 

1.) Lost in translation.

Okay, so get means goat and killing means kid in Swedish. It’s fine, guys. False alarm. (get killing)

2.) DO IT NOW!

The masked gunman waves his weapon in front of the terrified hostages. “I said TOUCH THE COW!”

3.) Label placement is important.

You really pulled a switcheroo on that zebra, huh.

4.) Helpful diagrams.

You know, in case you were wondering. I think we’ll need several more diagrams to get to the bottom of this illustration choice, though.

5.) This one has layers.

Layers and layers of wrong.

6.) What do you see in the kitchen? Say the words.

“Hoath Satan bvfd lonsh londoh babage!” Okay, we were hoping for “cookie,” but, you know, that’s good effort.

7.) Nice Horn.

Suddenly those heavily-lashed eyes are staring a little too deeply into your soul.

8.) Everything about this is terrible.

I tried to write a clever caption but I was cringing too hard.

9.) Well, it’s accurate.

Sometimes you need the “no frills” approach to anatomy lessons.

10.) I’m sure it makes sense in context.

I’m going to keep telling myself that. Context. Context…

11.) So!

Well, there’s a way to start a conversation.

12.) This might not be the best idea to suggest to a child.

But I’m sure kids’ books cover concepts of boundaries…

13.) ..oh. Nevermind.

I feel like all other relationship advice takes the complete opposite stance on this. How does this even come up in a kid’s book?

14.) Mister Dog.

Mister Dog, we’ve all gathered here because we love you. Put the pipe down, please.

15.) Special coal.

I don’t know, Thomas definitely looks like he wants some of that special coal.

16.) Lion, stop.

The monkey is the only one aware of the double entendre, and is shocked at what became.

17.) Maybe there’s a page missing?

The tired publisher shrugged. “Yeah. It’s fine. No one will notice.”

18.) Come on, you did this on purpose.

Make your own “seaman” joke. I’m done.

Oh dear. Now I know why I grew up to think like I do. It was those darn “children’s” books!

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